Sunday, September 18, 2011

Surrender

I can't keep fighting back these waves
They're growing stronger
The water below is murky
What is down there?
I want to hold on to something to stay afloat
Yet I don't really want to get back on that boat
It was on fire when I leapt out
And now I'm afraid of drowning
I keep on struggling
When it makes no more sense
I should let go
Surrender myself to the undertow
It is fear that keeps me here
Maybe there is something better
Just below my feet
Maybe when I quit this struggle
I'll realize it's not deep
But right now I'll flounder round as though
I cannot take the pressure
I am afraid to surrender
It's not the water that scares me
It would be soothing
But I can't trust myself
I second-guess past decisions
Foolish thoughts I can't see past
And these waves look like mountains
But really they are in my mind
The water is as smooth as glass
I would realize
It is just a puddle
It barely even is to my knees
If I looked down I would catch my reflection
Showing who I am with accuracy
But first I need to surrender
I cannot even see beyond my nose
I need to surrender
Until I do this storm keeps raging
And I feel alone

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