Surrender

I can't keep fighting back these waves

They're growing stronger

The water below is murky

What is down there?

I want to hold on to something to stay afloat

Yet I don't really want to get back on that boat

It was on fire when I leapt out

And now I'm afraid of drowning

I keep on struggling

When it makes no more sense

I should let go

Surrender myself to the undertow

It is fear that keeps me here

Maybe there is something better

Just below my feet

Maybe when I quit this struggle

I'll realize it's not deep

But right now I'll flounder round as though

I cannot take the pressure

I am afraid to surrender

It's not the water that scares me

It would be soothing

But I can't trust myself

I second-guess past decisions

Foolish thoughts I can't see past

And these waves look like mountains

But really they are in my mind

The water is as smooth as glass

I would realize

It is just a puddle

It barely even is to my knees

If I looked down I would catch my reflection

Showing who I am with accuracy

But first I need to surrender

I cannot even see beyond my nose

I need to surrender

Until I do this storm keeps raging

And I feel alone