Free thought gone horribly awry....

I am here not there looking for balloons among stickmen. Unbreathing in this coma state don’t hesitate. We are sisters and brothers alone where the west was won or where we lost ourselves. Pale ghosts on long forgotten plains. There is a heart buried deep in the earth where bones lay but this flesh peruses more exotic locale in hopes of melting away the mind’s winter. I can’t help myself I can’t be myself I am a lie fed up like breakfast cereal. Crispix and Chex on a sparkling sugar diamond bed. Slathered in milk until lactose-intolerant. Looking for windows in the soul but only seeing missed opportunities. Lies and deceit. I am not that perfect little creole. I have stretch marks from fat shields and wishing to live beyond this body. I know I’m more but there is no clear path for the calling that silences me. I hate and this hate is the result of the fear fed in wonderbread, disguised with ketchup. The static is seemingly white noise but the pain is still there. It is more than a sliver. We can’t look beyond the wicked ways of the world. They consume us as a lustful fire. I can’t live this way anymore but I can’t find the door. Let me out. I shall draw a window in this wall. Float out like a holy ghost. Sing songs of sarcastic waste. We are all gods. Men are figments of our imaginations. We are building on a human foundation. Souls trapped by human experience. Limited by imperfections. We need gold. We need violet light. Show us the way of glittering silver threads. The swamp is lost like leeches and toothy reptiles. Sink holes waste deep. We need to let go of Freudian slips. Underanalyse because we’ll loose the flow. We’ll catapult the havoc of incarceration for crimes left uncommitted and dreams left unfulfilled. There is only room for second guessing in the nunnery and this nuttery. Pass the cashew butter and we will make merry toasts to the stars and moon the lawn gnomes as though we are wild banshees. I fail to see the difference between two buffoons. Likewise bassoons and baboons are of a similar intimacy. Let the literary sighs commence as I immensely offend grammar rules that are as young as dirt and as wavering as planets. Jupiter was a star once too. It let us shine in the way that was immeasurable. We used to follow the stars until we lost them to the haze. We need to exit this way. Keep left. Step lightly. All aboard. All a bored. All a board. Dall a boar. Daal a boar. Doll a boar. Doll ab oar. Dull ab oar. Dull ab ore. Dull as ore. Dumbledore? Where is this leading? Walk the plank! Keelhaul him! That drunken sailor! We are all castaway in these seas and there are no life vessels. Make your own from debris. Exit on glowing signs of zoo plankton. Follow the riptide. Swim lightly. Head bonk. Forget yourself. It is the little joys. We forgot family and community to find ourselves. In the process lost our way. Take the hindsight. Take the insight of a 3 year old. 3 2 1 zero. Blast off! I am lonely. It is the truth but people don’t  like the truth. It holds them accountable. It is painfully disturbing to be entirely truthful with yourself. Peel back the mask and see the grotesque within. We are all animals. Good and evil are lies. We are left with pure... what? Snort. Now for some coffee tea cream sugar ice. Make it nice and frothy. Like the jetsom and flotsam. We can let go but first take a good long look. Linger longingly. Love. Live. Lose. Lily limbs like lotuses lift lightly loosely limber. Lolling, laughing, little lionesses live longer lying lusciously. Let light lull lofty lingo. Oh boy. Oh man. Oh girl. Oh woman! Hey sexy lady! Be an object of my desire. Clearly it’s your fault I raped you. You shouldn’t have dressed so provocatively. Never mind I fetch the paper every morning in my underwear.... standards can never be the same between genders. I have no reason to be afraid stepping naked from the shower in front of my open curtains. The people across the way on their balconies enjoy the view. I like the attention. Now stop dressing like a skank you little whore! And make me a sammich! God. Goddess. Supreme spaghetti monster. How I hate these double standards. They smell of diseased and rotten fish. Don’t tell me I did this to myself because for one damn minute you try being a woman. Enough of your vagina envy!

The Restless Wanderer

I find myself on the precipice
Overlooking the crevasse of doubt
Below me in the dark
Water churns
Murmuring to me words
That form sentences in my head
You are on the wrong path

You don't belong here
You've made a mistake
Go back and try another path

Staring into the depths
My footing is feeling unsure
Should I turn back
Or take a leap of faith?

Misunderstood

For all those involved in misunderstandings today!

Hey
Why do you mistake my passion
for fanaticism?
I really am just living, loving.
Can't we just live and love together?
It's okay that our interests are different.
We can share a knowledge
That each of us is sometimes
Passionate
We can live passionately
Living, loving in our own way!

Hey
Why is it you aren't listening?
You just see
What you want to see.
What you hear was in your head
And you didn't hear
What I really said.
But sometimes it's just simpler
To pretend
We are not speaking the same language
Just relax
And walk the extra miles
With sweat dripping down glistening backs
Muttering "mai pben rai"
And humming about things we cannot change.

Hey
Why are you so angry?
You are blinded by this mask of fear
For your fellow man.
You seem so liberal
Until you start spouting the things
That you saw on the TV
And quite honestly
I have to say you are brainwashed.
I love you dearly
But you can be frustrating
I present an alternative view
And you spew
More fire than a dragon.
And here I had been lighthearted in our conversation.
Why is it so personal?
Just let it be.
It's okay that we don't share all the same views.
And yet this was an issue I was not speaking about directly
But somehow you made it the center of our conversation.
I am sorry
I awoke the volcano
Stepped into the minefield.
And I'm sorry that you misunderstood.

Zen

I am here
Learning the art of zen
Trying to create that calm within myself

I'm finding only chaos
Like piano keys
Plucked at in a rapid melody
It seems chaotic
Not mathematic
But it turns out the universe
Is more synchronous
Than it first appears

I am like a porcelian doll
With a shattered face
I am seeing things through glass eye lenses
Never really part of the party
Only looking in
Never fitting in
I am too broken
But it is the dogma engrained in me
That doesn't let me free

My spirit cannot soar
My essence simmers over
Churns like a stormy sea
There is no illusion of calm
But I'm still here
Trying to create that stillness within
Wishing to open like a lotus blossom
To embody the art of zen.

of Wefan

Woven Wyrd
Is it our fate
That we must live by wæpons not wefta?
It strikes fear in the hearts of the weras
The power of potential within the wifmenn,
For frithuwebbes and freondship.

The wæponmenn wish not to admit
That they too are not immune to Wyrd's weavings.
We all are the thread, carefully in the web, woven
And no wers can cut the threads of fate.
We are all always becoming
Sweordplega only a pattern within the cloth.

Paint Me as Alice

You saw me for what I was
That damaged flower
Sullied soul
You with that crooked ginger Chesire grin
Blowing smoke rings like a blue caterpillar
You walked with me through the fields of the fallen
Indulged my wonderland
You with hat and carrot curls
A sort of innocence
Where innocence is lost
A surreal fantasy
But then that smile faded
As I turned away
Stepped through the looking glass
To face my jabberwock alone.

An Empire Collapses

How can I sleep when my world keeps crumbling
I've watched it happening since I was 11
That fateful day when the twin towers went tumbling
I watched my freedoms get lost in the rubble
And it keeps on happening, worsening, sickening
Never gets better, it seems
We fight false wars to keep people slaves to a system
One that is funded by greed
And I keep getting force-fed these lies
I didn't believe them back then
If you try to brainwash me
You'll have to to better
I've seen from the start through clear eyes
And I sing to myself "We Didn't Start the Fire"
And yet watch the fire still burn
I wonder how there can be so much ignorance still
Even when people lose everything

We're afraid to stand up for our rights
But there's no time like now to stand up and fight
You can say I'm from an ungrateful generation
But maybe we see the world clearer than ever
We have the courage to stand up and say
Don't feed me false hope,
I know I deserve better
And though it keeps sickening me
I see newsflashes
Independent sources crying out for justice
Don't coddle me anymore
I don't need your comforting
Don't need you to say anything
Until your actions show louder than words
That things will get better not worse

Don't strip me of freedoms and say I'm a heretic
Don't paint me a tyrant
When you created the conflict
Don't give us false media
Stop getting greedier
Think for once for the greater good
Don't take away freedoms
To hide all your shortcomings
Don't make us have war when we're at peace
Don't discriminate, don't lie to our face,
Don't discredit us for gender, race, sexuality

It's all lies
And I despise
The direction
We are headed in
Let's stop
Re-examine the facts
I want peace
I want love
And a government I can trust
I want freedoms
To share ideas
For being human
That's no bluff!


How can I sleep when my world keeps crumbling
I've watched it happening since I was 11
That fateful day when the twin towers went tumbling
I watched my freedoms get lost in the rubble
Okay, you made a mistake (we all do)
But just admit it, because hiding it is so much trouble!