Larger Than Life

I feel like a strangled cat

I know

You don't want to hear that

But here I am

I find a lot of times

I am too big for my own skin

Quite bursting at the seams

With exuberant energy

I need to be creative 

But there's no space for creativity

In this claustrophobic lifestyle

Stifled

Dripping taunting irony in this ceaseless rain

And I know you say I should be myself

But sometimes MYSELF is too big for this mould

And with no room to grow

I am like a plant in desperate need of a new pot

The ghosts of my now shadow self

Keep me up at night

Shrieking and wailing the dirges of a hollow shell

Passion is gone

Broken

Suffocated

But there's no one to blame

Because this is how adults live

And while you still drag me around like a distracted child

These eyes are dulled already with the unmovable weight of helplessness

The world keeps turning

And we keep loving in that constricted space allotted by a broken system

But each night I am haunted and each day I am praying for any kind of alchemy

 Rescue me from this icy pool of shattered dreams

It's unfair because you and I are both porcelain dolls

Cast together with faults

Faces cracked

Fragments fallen away

And while I crave space

And intimacy

And purpose

And freedom

I feel the crushing weight of destiny

Cry out in the night when I alone can hear

I am still tormented by devils of my own making

I hope somehow I seem less broken 

Cradle you in my love

Shine outwardly with more light than I feel within

None of this is of your making

Little of it wrought by me

But both of us are puppets

The strings not cut away

Willing we dance together entangled

And like Pinocchio, the strings fall away